Mom and Me

A Little Hospital Time

Mom has a bad back.  Several years ago she had compression fractures in the cervical area.  She has osteoporosis and like she says, "Some things are wearing out."

Late last week she was bending over "ironing" her jeans.  She was dusting in the bedroom and messing around in the kitchen.

It was all a little too much and by Sunday, about the time I was to have been with friends I got the call:

"Michael, I think I'm in trouble."

That's a switch.  Usually it's me.

"No, my back hurts so badly I can hardly move."

I drove up the hill and fifteen minutes later we were at the swanky new hospital, Mercy West with some nice people.

"Must be a slow day", said Mom.  The place was nearly deserted.

After the x-rays and a shot for pain we left...four hours later.

It was not the best of times but, it could have been worse.

"You know what?  It just sucks to get old."

I get it Mom.

And so it goes....

I'm Ironing...

Mom loves to save money so the real iron that "Uses too much energy!" sits on a shelf.

"Move over, I need to finish my ironing."

What are you doing?

"Can't you tell?  I am ironing my pants."

What's the wet rag for?

"I've got to dampen the fabric so I can iron it with my hand."

Mom, why don't I just grab the iron and do it for you?

"And waste electricity? No way!  Besides, this is exactly how my mother did it."

Was that before electricity?

"Watch it!"

And so it goes...

"I'm So Frustrated!"

I heard her in the bedroom...grumbling. "This darn thing.  I just don't know why you buy these chemicals."

What's the matter?

"The can of dusting stuff.  How does it work?

What do you mean?  I round the corner and there she stood glaring at the aerosol can of Endust.

"I've been twisting and twisting this top and I can't get the stuff to come out."

Mom, it's a spray can.

"A what?"

A can that you push the top and spray it out.

"Where does it come out at?"

See that little nozzle?  You hold the can, press the top button and out comes the stuff.

"How much comes out?"

It depends on how long you hold down the button.

"This is silly.  Why not just screw off the top, pour some on the rag and be done with it?"

Because it's an aerosol can.

"What a waste of time with these new gadgets!  I could have been done an hour ago."

And so it goes...

Rock & Stumps Work Just Fine

Mom's great-grandson Carter had his first birthday party this past weekend.  Her grandson (and my son) Aaron and his wife Mandi worked like dogs to get the back-yard looking nice.  New screens on the playhouse, new deck on the playhouse, 40 bags of mulch, new entry door and storm door on the house and some new patio furniture.  You get the idea, it was a "make-over" and it looked nice.

Mom had a conversation with Aaron about the new furniture.  And yes, that's when I took the photo.

"My, this is really nice patio furniture.  Is it new?"

Yep, Dad and I picked it up last Sunday.  That's why we were late coming over for dinner.

"Oh yes, I remember that.  So, how much did all this fancy-schmancy cost you?" (At 93 Mom doesn't much care what she says or how...)

It was about five-hundred dollars.

"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!?!"

That was for the furniture.  But we got a pretty good deal.

"I should hope so.  For five-hundred dollars it must be gold!"

No, not really there is much more expensive stuff out there.

"I just don't understand it.  Back in my day we sat on rocks or pulled up a log to sit on or just sat on a blanket on the ground."

Would you want to sit on a blanket on the ground?

"Don't get sassy..."

And so it goes...

Let's Check Those Eyes...

It was off to the Wolfe Eye Clinic today for a follow up visit.  Mom has issues with "dry eyes" and six months ago the doctors did a procedure and it seemed to help.  This was a follow up visit.  Before seeing the doctor Alex did some tests.  You know...reading the eye charts and assorted stuff. (I was amazed at his talent.)

She did pretty well for 93 and the doctor said, Everything looks good June.  In fact we're pretty impressed that your vision is 20/30.

"What should it be?"

We see lots of patients with much worse vision than you.

"So why did I give up my drivers license?"

Well, lots of things go into driving besides eyesight.

"I know, they say you slow down at about 90."

Some people slow down way before that.

"I've heard that but don't believe it."

What do you think about glasses?  Did you ever wear them?

"Oh yes!  Back in the '50's some quack suggested that I should get bi-focals and all they did was make me dizzy.  Couldn't stand them."

Would you consider changing your mind?

"Only if you promise me you are not a quack!"

And so it goes....