Mom and Me

Doing The Laundry

The great folks at the Wesley Retirement System property Edgewater would do Mom's laundry but I decided it was something that I could do myself.  It's a personal effort and I know what to use and what to avoid. (Mom has some sensitive skin...)

Each day I collect her clothing and do the laundry every-other-day.

"Did you iron my pants?", asked Mom.

Yes and on hangers.  See.

"You didn't use an electric iron did you?"

Uhm...sure.

"You shouldn't do that."

Why?

"It wastes electricty.  All you have to do is keep the pants slightly damp and then spread them out on a table and 'hand-iron' them. When they dry they will be just fine."

That's OK.  I don't mind.  Oh, by the way MidAmerican Energy called me.  They wanted to know why you've used so little energy.

"Oh?  I was wondering if they might wonder what's up.  I haven't been home for nearly two months.  What did they think I was doing?  It's good they are on top of it."

Yes it is.

"They will never call you about your house."

Why?

"You don't 'hand-iron' enough."

And...so it goes

"It's a deal, right June?"

This is Ginger one of Mom's nurses in the skilled care unit of Edgewater.  She and Mom enjoy each other and joke around. It was also Ginger who worked hard to help out with the recent hospitalization.  But, she is dead serious when it comes to safety.

The skilled care unit is centered around therapy.  Getting the resident to an optimum level so they can go home.  Usually a day or two prior to discharge the resident is put on "independent status" meaning they can move about in their rooms without assistance.  Mom likes that part.

However, she's not at that level and needs to call for assistance when moving around.  She didn't do that yesterday.  "I'm quite capable of getting up out of my chair and going to the bathroom", she said.

Yes Mom, but the rules are that you must have somebody with you.  It's for your protection.

"We'll that's silly.  Besides, there are people here more sick than I am."

That might be true but...you know the rules.

Ten minutes later, while I was visiting with the Amber, the social worker, Mom decided she needed to go to the bathroom...on her own.

Ginger wasn't funny any longer.  "June, you must call us if you are going to get up.  If you don't we're going to have to move you closer to the center of the area so we can watch you."

"I don't really want to move", said Mom.

"Well, then use your call button.  You do that and we've got a deal.  It's a deal, right June?"

"OK."

Ginger walked out and Mom says, "They don't mess around do they?"

And...so it goes.

Meeting The Kindest People on the Planet

Over the course of the past week I've, thanks to Mom, met some of the kindest people on the planet.  Mom has been at Edgewater a Wesley Community in West Des Moines/Waukee and, thanks to their alert staff, they made sure Mom was transferred to Mercy West Lakes last Thursday.  She was in pretty bad shape with a urinary tract infection (that had just started) some congestive heart failure and confused beyond belief due to the UTI.

Having spent ten years as a long-term health care administrator I have now often wondered how many women, who were diagnosed with dementia, really had a UTI.  I shudder to think of that reality.

At Mercy West Lakes they start each morning with a prayer.  What I heard was not so much as a prayer for the patients but for the staff who care for the ill and infirm.  I'm not Catholic nor a Christian but I found that prayer to be a refreshing reminder of how important the work these wonderful people do.

People like Rachel an RN who is just 24 but delighted in coming into Mom's room to talk "girl stuff" for the longest time.  Or TerriSue a social worker whose job it is to be helpful...but she has an amazing talent for being real and kind and considerate.  You don't teach that stuff...it comes from inside. Or Lynn the ER Doc who brought tears to my eyes when she said, "You can call me Lynn and know that we will do our best for your Mom.  We all have mothers."

And Ginger from Edgewater who, on her day off called back to the skilled care facility to see when Mom might come back so she could make sure there was a bed for her in "her wing".  And Katy and Amber and Mary and Carrie and Angie and the list goes on and on and on...all warm, welcoming, wonderful people who are...kind...first.

In the end I have my Mother to thank for introducing me to these kind people.  You all make a difference in the lives of the people you touch and we are grateful.  Your actions and words restore hope and that...is the greatest kindness.  Thank you.

And...so it goes.

Meanwhile...Back at the Hospital

It's been quite the week.  Mom was to have been discharged from the skilled care unit of Edgewater on Wednesday.  However on Tuesday she was exhibiting some strange behavior and by 2PM of the next day I met with senior level staff and voiced concerns about her release.

We combed through her records and the staff found several things that led them to believe she may have a urinary tract infection (UTI).  That doesn't sound like a big deal however, it can cause elderly folks to lose cognitive ability.  She was approved to stay a few more days.

By Thursday morning the staff was faced with my Mother calling out to her Mother and saying they were going on a picnic.

If was off to the hospital at Mercy West Lakes.

The ER physician called not only the UTI correct but also expressed concern about several other medical issues and she was admitted.

The hospital staff pumped her full of some strong antibiotics and by 2PM she was sitting up, having a meal and wondering what all the fuss was about.  Do you remember yesterday, Mom?

"Of course I do."

Do you remember calling out for your Mother and asking about packing up dishes?

"Why would I do that?"

We talked about what had gone on.  She shook her head and said, "I was really looney huh?"

Yes.

It's tough to see your parents age and become infirm.  My Father z"l didn't go through any of that.  He died of a massive heart attack 26 years ago last week.  So, this is a new experience and one that so many of you have gone through or will.

Kindness and committed health care professionals can make all the difference.  Yesterday as the ER Doc was visiting with me and telling me, "We are going to do everything we can to help your Mother recover.  After all, it is your Mother."  I offered my thanks and tears welled up in my eyes. She said, "Michael, my name is Lynn.  We all have a Mother and I get it.  We are here for her and for you."

Thank you...all.

And...so it goes.

(Photo:  Mom and her grandson, Aaron at a Chanukah meal - December 2012)

Bummer...

Today was the day Mom was to be discharged from the skilled care facility at Edgewater.  I had been at her apartment several times over the past couple of days making sure it was stocked with her food, the new "senior assist" items where installed and the dust of the past month was gone. 

Yesterday was sort of tough for her.  Thinking it was anticipation of leaving the comfort of 24/7 service we didn't take it too seriously.  Even when she asked if we were moving pots and pans out of her apartment.  It was odd but we explained and she seemed fine with that.

Today was a whole different deal.  When I arrived to pick her and a few more items up she said, "I have had a lousy night and I'm scared."

What are you afraid of?

"I don't know."

What do you think it might be?

"I'm upset that I can't keep my pots and pans and the stuff under the sink."

What?

"It all has to go, I guess."

Mom, we're moving back to the apartment.  We're not moving out of the apartment.

"I know that, but these walls are closing in on me.  Did you get the boxes?"

For what?

"To move the pots and pans."

Oh Oh...  I visited with the nurse, the social worker, the physical therapist and the director of nursing, "Something is not right and she is to be discharged today."

We combed through her chart and noticed she had not had a discharge lab drawn.  I asked if that would be a good thing because something is up regarding her cognitive ability.

They agreed and so I had to explain to Mom that she was staying for a couple more days to make sure everything was alright.

"Well, that's a bummer but it will give you time to get the boxes."

And...so it goes.

Getting Out?

The voice on the phone was excited, "I think I'm getting out!", said Mom.

What?

"Yes, the nurse just told me I'm going to be released on the 17th and get to come home."

Wow...really?

"Yes, I've got some more work to do but they said they are kicking me out real soon.  I can tell that I'm getting stronger."

That's great.

"And it's about time.  The food started out to be really good but not now so much."

I thought you liked it.

"Well, some of it.  And, there are people in and out all the time.  Hard to sleep at night."

Mom:  Grumpy and Freedom...I think she is on the mend.

And...so it goes.

By the way...the image above was taken this past week.  I had not posted a photo for sometime because she is on blood thinner and it got whacked up.  She had a bleed in her right eye and it was scary to look at.  See...we saved you from that.

Mom's Chair...

Mom has really settled in at Edgewater telling me, "I just don't know where the time goes.  They really keep me busy with all the therapy sessions."

We still have her apartment in Urbandale because there is hope she will return.  I go there every day to water flowers, do some of her laundry and keep the place looking OK.

Yesterday her great-grand-daughter Taylor and I went by.  Taylor says, "When is Grandma June coming home?"

I don't know Taylor.  Soon we hope.

"I hope so too.  It smells like Grandma June in here but it's not right that her chair is empty."

I know sweetie...

And so it goes...