Mom and Me

Feeling a Little Lost...

This morning I woke up, for the first time in my nearly 64 years, without...parents.  As many of you know Mom died yesterday afternoon, here, at home.  It was the way she wanted it.

And, she, more than often, got exactly what she wanted.

Over the years it has been an honor to do for her.  But, I have to tell you she was the "Goldilocks of Meal Time".  I would take her some food and...

She would wince and say, "This is too hot!"

I'm sorry Mom it just came out of the oven/microwave/skillet let it cool a bit.

Then, after fifteen minutes she would call out, "Michael, this food is too cold!"

And it was back and forth warming, cooling, warming again....

For nearly three years it's been "Mom Duty" sort of just like that. Never regretting but always trying.  

Today, I've got some extra time and feeling a little lost.  

Not quite sure what to do with this blog...now that her voice is silent.

We'll bury Mom in the National Cemetery in Battle Creek, Michigan...next to my Father.  It's what she wanted.  And, as you know...she most often got exactly what she wanted.

And...so it goes.

 

That Smile...

Yesterday while getting Mom ready for bed somthing very odd happened. A couple of days ago she quit talking.  Odd for her but I'm thinking the effort and the pain medication take their toll.  It's not been a good week.

Then, last evening as I was tucking her in, she opened up her eyes, looked at me and gave me the warmest smile...ever.  Silently, I smiled back. She closed her eyes and a tear ran down her cheek.

I don't know either. But, that one small smile was worth it...everything.

I'll keep you posted.

And...so it goes.

 

 

Ain't Nothing Easy...

It's the middle of March and Mom is still with us.  Caring for her has become, nearly, a full time job.  I am not complaining...it's just tough to watch her fade.

But, we carry on with sometimes entertaining ways.  Just yesterday evening, after a pretty rough day with pain and trying to get comfortable, we had just gotten her up and in her chair when she looked at us and said, 

"I know what today is!"

You do?

Yes!  It's Purim!"

I have no idea where that came from and it's part of this process that is so difficult to understand.  Some days she is as clear as possible and others...

Yes, Mom it is Purim.

"I know.  Wish I could drink some wine."

Me too...

And, so it goes.