Mom and Me

You're Fired!

I've been fired before.  The most memorable was on Christmas Eve long ago.  The guy figured it would be cool to "ruin" my Christmas...not knowing that Jews don't celebrate the holiday.  But I do remember the event and the drive to the station to get the news.

Last night Mom fired me.  Something about the food, my attitude, my bride...the list got pretty long. 

"I'm going to call the attorney in the morning and have you removed from my affairs!"

And, who will take up those duties?

"I have ways..."

That of course was last evening.  Today the realization started to sink in starting with, "Who is going to take me to the bathroom?"

The rabbis say the hardest commandment to keep is the 5th...to "Honor your Father and your Mother."  I can attest to the fact of their wisdom and daily remind myself of this particular mitzvah.

Getting old...old, old is tough.  Losing independence, memory issues, health...all are frustrating and sometimes that frustration comes out in lashing at "the hand that feeds you".

I get it...but I also understand the stress from a care-giver standpoint.

Which leads me to wonder why in heaven's name our state sucks when it comes to paying direct care-givers a live-able wage.  We talk about how "precious" our older population is but when we "warehouse" them in institutions we've decided the burden on paying for their care is just too much to handle.

The State of Iowa should look to the 5th Commandment...first.

And...so it goes. 

Meeting The Kindest People on the Planet

Over the course of the past week I've, thanks to Mom, met some of the kindest people on the planet.  Mom has been at Edgewater a Wesley Community in West Des Moines/Waukee and, thanks to their alert staff, they made sure Mom was transferred to Mercy West Lakes last Thursday.  She was in pretty bad shape with a urinary tract infection (that had just started) some congestive heart failure and confused beyond belief due to the UTI.

Having spent ten years as a long-term health care administrator I have now often wondered how many women, who were diagnosed with dementia, really had a UTI.  I shudder to think of that reality.

At Mercy West Lakes they start each morning with a prayer.  What I heard was not so much as a prayer for the patients but for the staff who care for the ill and infirm.  I'm not Catholic nor a Christian but I found that prayer to be a refreshing reminder of how important the work these wonderful people do.

People like Rachel an RN who is just 24 but delighted in coming into Mom's room to talk "girl stuff" for the longest time.  Or TerriSue a social worker whose job it is to be helpful...but she has an amazing talent for being real and kind and considerate.  You don't teach that stuff...it comes from inside. Or Lynn the ER Doc who brought tears to my eyes when she said, "You can call me Lynn and know that we will do our best for your Mom.  We all have mothers."

And Ginger from Edgewater who, on her day off called back to the skilled care facility to see when Mom might come back so she could make sure there was a bed for her in "her wing".  And Katy and Amber and Mary and Carrie and Angie and the list goes on and on and on...all warm, welcoming, wonderful people who are...kind...first.

In the end I have my Mother to thank for introducing me to these kind people.  You all make a difference in the lives of the people you touch and we are grateful.  Your actions and words restore hope and that...is the greatest kindness.  Thank you.

And...so it goes.

The Catholics...

Last evening I got a call from an orthopedic surgeon from Mercy West Lakes regarding Mom's back. It wasn't bad news but it wasn't good news either.

Mom is suffering from compression fractures. She's had them before and they too took her out for some time.  However, that was several years ago and now, being close to 93 (in just four days) the healing process is much different.

The options are to get her up and moving more and perhaps...perhaps do some less invasive surgery.

The trick now is to get her motivated to move.  When I was with her last night she was not happy with her progress.

"This is really getting to me."

I know.

"I've been hurting for over a week and just can't seem to get any relief.  But, I will tell you something, these Catholics are OK."

What?

"No kidding.  If you want excellent care head to a Catholic hospital it's just something about them."

But, I suspect many of your caregivers are not Catholic.

"Doesn't matter.  I think they train them right and that's what's important."

And...so it goes...