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Banning Our Way To Financial Freedom

Iowa_capitol The Iowa Legislature is in session.  You can tell that from the way we are forging our way to financial freedom as our elected officials seek to ban just about everything.

It started a couple of years ago.  I have no children in the public schools but I understand that there are bullies out there.

So, our legislature banned them.

In 7th grade I had a similar experience.  Andy Kampman was a bully.  He had flunked two or three grades and was constantly taunting me and others.  I complained to my father.  He said, "Kick him in the groin." (Actually, Dad used a different term to describe Mr. Kampman's anatomy.)  I did and never heard another word out of Andy.  He just sort of "went away".  We're now much more civilized so we have a law banning guys like Andy and our personal wealth has skyrocketed.

Queer_eye_cast We also have a law that says you can't say, "That's so gay."  While those terms are not in my middle-age lexicon I understand that we have a ban on saying it.  It's a good idea...interior design shops are springing up like crazy...it's good for the economy.

A couple of weeks ago the Iowa Legislature brought up the idea of banning cell phone use for teens who drive.  This week the idea was expanded to include all people.  In other words, ban all cell phone use in cars.

It's not a bad idea.  I mean, do we really have to call somebody about the sweater we bought on sale at Kohls and then go into a discussion of "what's for dinner" while doing 70 mph on I-235?

But the "ban" doesn't go far enough.

Amish_buggy We should simply ban driving.

I've looked it up.  The Amish have very few automobile accidents.  Unless they get hit by somebody driving a car into their buggy...no doubt while discussing the evening meal on a cell phone.

We need not get into all the particulars of how this will save us thousands of dollars in car payments, gas, repairs, and three car garages.  Let's just do and watch the money pile up.

Iowa_logo_university The University of Iowa...the school my son went to for two years + racking up points in "social activity", has decided to ban smoking on campus.

I might suggest to them that banning underage drinking and recruiting thugs to play football and basketball might be a better move.  But, there are some bullies we like.  (Aaron did graduate...from UNI.  Whew)

Maybe they should ban the idea of amassing huge piles of cash in their foundations and use that money to pay down the continued increase in tuition and fees? It's a thought and more smart kids means more cash for Iowa.

The Iowa Legislature wants to ban American Flags made in any place other than the United States.  It seems lots of US flags are made in China, a country that in all honesty owns the United States, and that bothers some folks.

French_flagWe really should be banning the flag from the state of Texas.  There is no solid reason, of any kind, that anybody who lives within the borders of Iowa should fly that flag.  Instead we should make it a law that Iowans must fly the flag of France.  Hey, it looks like our state flag...and the new First Lady of France is hot.Carla_bruni

It could do wonders for wine, cheese and bread sales!  (And this was another great excuse for including a Carla Bruni photo.  OK, she's not Kate Walsh...but some of you have complained I use her photo too often.)

I've got lots of ideas...this is just the tip of the iceberg...

Iceberg!

Iceberg_lettuce That's another thing.  We should ban salad bars at restaurants.  They encourage over eating and over eating causes two things to happen:  1)  We spend money rather than saving it. 2)  Fat people sleep more so are less productive.  (Wait a minute...I take offense to that remark!  I'm almost as productive at 240 pounds as I was at 190...It's just that I also like a nap at 3pm!)

Ban salad bars...and count the cash!

You get the drift...let's ban together...no wait.  Let's Band together and ban more stuff.  We'll all be better off.

Michael P. Libbie - Insight Advertising, Marketing & Communications where we promise we'll get back to advertising and marketing right away.  It's just that I've been holding this inside for too long.

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